I Don’t Know

Art credit: Birds and flowers of the four seasons, unknown artist

The fresh, slightly sweet smell of grass

Thumping of kicks, Squeaks of Swings, Birds sharing news in song form

Everything so free and open leaving no thoughts to ponder on about

Only imaginations running loose and wild

“So, what pathway are you picking?”

And I drowned back to the present, the bitter “I Don’t Know” slipping out of my mouth

Making me feel nothing but powerless, invading my mind with uncontrollable doubt

But, not one answer

What do I want ?

What am I interested in pursuing?

Where should I apply for college?

What am I good at?

What is my purpose?

The only answer to all these are three words which define me as a whole

I. Don’t. Know.

No one to tell or share

No one willing to care

Here I am back again

To the vicious and bitter truth

I have nothing to advene

Everyone being high and mighty

While I am just left behind

Inferior to All

Living life as it comes

With no plan or thought being accomplished

15 years passed, still no realizations 

Just all empty canvases, waiting to see color

I Don’t Know How

I Don’t Know Why

Though, I am still latching on

To an uncertain hope 

Still waiting for that one eye-opening moment

Changing I Don’t Know to an I Do Know

To make a pivotal moment

Turning doubts into opportunities, all alone