Who I Am: Duality

Art credit: Still life, georg flegel

I used to call myself a contradiction—

Turns out, I was just young.

An enigma, a paradox,

Chaos pretending to be order,

A dreamer afraid of dreams.

Who am I?

A lover, a hater,

And again.

A believer, a skeptic.

Selfish then selfless,

Shifting between who I was, who I am,

And whoever I’ll be tomorrow.

Lost even when I know myself right now.

My view, your view, the world’s view

Three eyes, none quite seeing.

Black and white, dark and light grey

Somewhere in between, I exist.

Don’t get stuck, they say.

Move forward, but don’t fall.

But isn’t youth the art of tipping over

And learning how to fall?

Live, but don’t lose yourself.

Be yourself, they say.

Who is that?

Be like others, they whisper.

But who are they?

Be the most beautiful, but the girl next door

Be brilliant, but don’t speak too loud.

They set the stage, but then change the script.

Life gave me lemons, sweet and sour.

Told me to pick a side.

But I drink it all-

Bitter, stinging sweet- it burns.

Because isn’t that what growing up is?

A taste you can’t define, but one you’ll never forget?

So I run, I pause, I doubt, I dream.

I love, I hate, I break, I heal.

I let go, I hold on.

Because growing up isn’t balance-

It’s learning to live in the fall.

"Duality" explores the contradictions of growing up- the push and pull between who we are, who we were, and who we think we should be. It’s about realizing that maybe the goal isn’t choosing a side, but learning to exist in the in-between.

Ambicka Mamgain

Ambicka is a poet from Delhi, India, who expresses herself through writing—her thoughts, struggles, silliness, and growth. Her work often weaves introspection with lyrical depth, capturing multiple meanings in just a few simple lines.

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