F*ck G*d
“How can I beg for a life
That has been taken by that same entity”
What God can I pray to
That has me on my knees like this
How can I beg for a life
That has been taken by that same entity
If God is within me, was he in my family too?
Did he hold me down as my innocence was taken?
Was he there when I laid down on the street?
Did he push me when I sat on the bridge?
Did he raise that bottle to my lips?
If this is a test to prove my faith
Abandoning me an interesting way
Am I supposed to forgive him?
As I am supposed to forgive my mother?
How can I forgive the knife that stabbed my back?
I don’t want his love if this is it
Do I not deserve forgiveness too?
For what I have done in my grief
For what I have done in self defense
I don’t want to believe in an abusive God
Author’s Statement: I wrote this poem when I was admitted to a catholic psychiatric hospital. While the stay there helped me tremendously, I still struggled with the religious implications they taught there. This is mirrored in this poem as well.